For a good chunk of my life, the answer to “Am I the asshole?” was yes. Not the charming sitcom kind. Not the “we’re all a little flawed” kind. I was curt, impatient, sarcastic, emotionally disconnected, and relentlessly critical of the people around me. And if a friend had the courage to reach out during a rough patch, I refused to get involved—convinced their weakness and dependence would cling to me like emotional barnacles.   Turns out, that’s not how empathy works.   So

Let’s talk about touch. Or rather, let’s talk about why I might bolt across the room like a startled gazelle when you try to hug me. It’s Not You, It’s My Nervous System This isn’t personal. I don’t despise you. I don’t think you’re gross. Unless you’re wearing Axe body spray, in which case, we’ll need to have a different conversation. It’s just that for me and many other autistic people, touch isn’t the cozy, heartwarming “love language” that you experience. The physical sen

Every species has its rituals. Lions lick each other’s fur. Monkeys pick bugs off each other’s backs. Humans? They complain about traffic while nodding in unison. To neurotypicals, this is as natural as breathing. To autistic people, it can look like performance art where everyone knows the choreography except you. So let’s take a tour through Neurotypical Bonding: what it is, why science says it works, and how you might actually join in without losing your mind. What it Look

If you’re autistic, chances are someone has told you, “You should have known better.” If you’re neurotypical, chances are you’ve said it. And if you’re me, you’ve heard it so often it might as well be engraved on my tombstone: “Here lies Alan. He still doesn’t know better.” Case Study #1: Kindergarten Cop Every superhero has an origin story. Mine began when I was five, powered by chocolate milk and unfiltered honesty. My neighbor—who also happened to be my best friend’s olde

Becoming a published author is hard enough. Doing it as an autistic author is like being told to run a maze blindfolded, while someone keeps shouting, “Make eye contact!” Publishing claims to love “diverse perspectives,” which sounded great until I realized that they also want them written in the exact same cheerful tone as everybody else. That’s the Catch-22: I'm the expert at my own life, but the industry is more comfortable with a familiar script. To be fair, publishers an